i am not a missionary

I am a girl. I enjoy shopping, making music, football (manchester united and Juventus)DOWN WITH ARSENAL, going to the gym and irritating annoying people. After a couple of wild years, I count myself so privalaged to have god as my best mate. I try and live my life for him, and do what he asks of me. My huge fear is that he will ask me to become a missionary with a canibal tribe, but he is in control......AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

ok guys this is it.....its gonna get deep

so have you ever not been able to sleep and you just know its god not letting you coz he wants you to use your brain a little? well i had that last night. the last few days have been a shocker. on friday i kinda hit the bottom, i fuly trust gos that he has my life in his hands and it think its amazing but i was kinda screaming out to him, just give me a sign give me a bit of summink to help me just on to the next step.

so i went to sleep and woke up to find a letter from the ony uni i hadnt been rejected from, which happens to be the only uni in england which i have ever wanetd to go to - its kinda the reason i applied. its an incredible uni and so i thought iw ould have no chance. andy way i have an interview. what an answer to prayer, i dont know how people can be "athiests" god so clearly exists......

so last nite in my little bed i was there and i was thinkning so living for god like trully living for him is hard right? but to be honest, what is the point of living if you dont live for god. you can always go in the persuit of happiness but unless its god centered you will never find it and you can always go in persuit of a meaningful and rewarding life but again unless its god centered then you wont find it.

im sure that in my heard there was alot more interesting stuff and it was all reli carfully thought out but i have fotgotten it now! im well tired!

i hope you guys are all incredible, i start my new job on the 31st of may and my interview is on the 7th of june and yeah?!

on the ol' man front, lizzie maybe un-single soon. its all a bit contraversial, if you wanna know more email me lilibetla@hotmail.com! its too silly to put over this! oh and benjy can you email me the name of that singer guy that i liked just b4 i came home, you know the one witht hat bullet song - pretty?!

love you all sorry im rubbish at keeping in touch i do try i promise but im RUBBISH!

Saturday, May 07, 2005


so lizzie lizzie lizzie, why havent you written on here for ages? one simple reason. everytime i email you guys or write on here i am complaining. and it makes me sick.

GOOD NEWS: I have a job! well two jobs in fact. on in a nursing home working with part able elderly people. and the second is at the Wycliffe bible translators European HQ. this is my first prayer request, i have 100% no idea whcih one to go for AT ALL! the NH would be only 25 set hours a week (but like with the occasional weekend and the posibility for way more hours), then wycliffe would be like 9-5 monday to friday and let me tell you something else; i am £950 yes POUNDS in debt and wycliffe pays alot less, and even with the extra hours at wyclife i would only get £60 more a month. no jokes.

The thing that is really pissing me off at the moment is the fact that there is no certainty in my life at the moment. at all. i dont know where i am going to study, i dont know when i am going to start, i dont know where i will work and look - this is why i dont write coz i just moan.

right i am changing the subject.

FOOTBAL!!!!!!! well Serie A to be more specific (the top italian league). well here the thing: as you all should know I support Juventus, but then there is Milan and a few of my favourite players around play for them (i.e. Paolo Maldini, Alessandro nesta, Andrea Pirlo etc) Well hereis when it gets very scary! Milan and Juve are both in 1st place right now with the same amount of points and milan are ahed only one point on goal difference and there is only 4 matches left of the season and tomorrow yes tomorrow they play each other ahhhhh! I am so excited it will be an amazing match. COME ON JUVE!!!!!!!!!

one of my favourite bits of the wole bible is Hebrews 12; Let us run throw of everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run the race with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on jesus the author and perfecter of our faith.

good one. That is giving me alot of comfort at the moment. I have no clue at all wheat is guna be my future or any idea of how i will get there but hey there is a race marked out for me and i will run it even if it running blind and one tiny step at a time.

i wud realy apreciate your prayers guys i am pretty low right now.

love you all

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Land of Hope and Glory (England by the way)

Still in the mighty mighty england and still wishing i was with you lot in blingin AZ. My life is the same. Really. Day in Day out. The same. I get up, and go down stairs, stand up and go to bed.


here are some exciting things which have happened to me sinse last wirting: Liverpool (a football team and city in the north west of england) knocked out my team Juventus (north west italy) from the major euorpean (hence world) competition. i cried.
I have started to like some one, yes a guy, and yes he is a TV chef. if your interested he is named Jean-Christoph Novelli. hes french, fit, possibly quite old and also angry, in an attractive kinda way.......it could happen.

thats pretty much it, no seriously.

and do you want to know why?????? yes i hear you cry. I have major owies. My entire medication and diet has been uprooted and 100% changed. My body has gone a bit mental with the changes, thus it is incredibly painful for me to do anything.....breathing is a hastle.

Actually having just read the above, its all untrue. I am actually a really busy person, in a very painful body. I am still looking for a job, which generally means filoling out about 17 million forms a day while looking for other possiblities and trying to sort out all my schooling oppertunities in this country, in america or maybe even italy or france. its crazy times. At the same time i am the most popular person which i think i have ever met....no jokes! HAHA i have a lot of people to see in what seems to be a very short space of time, even tho in reality we have ages, maybe im going to die like next week coz i have a very rushed feeling on me. or maybe its coz im in london not hicsville gilbert hahahah im only joking dont get violent.

god has placed a burden on me at the moment over the way i live ny life, how i am percived by other people and how i relate to people. i am sturuggling. my prayer is that my life would be a reflection of jesus' (nice lad coinsidently)

ok its my bed time. hannah answer your phone bitch

Monday, April 04, 2005

i heart the pope

I seriously heart the pope guys. i was speaking to a total bimbo yesterday and she said these exact words, "like i really get the whole pope being dead sad thing, but like they keep talking about all the millions of catholics and how sad they are, but like what about his family, they havent even taken into consideration how his childeren must be feelin and stuff, if those cardinals are arranging his funeral then like they wont have a say in it at all". I promise i didnt make up even one bit of that......how depressing.

It has been a big and tense day in england. Prince charles' wedding was scheduled for friday and now with the popes funeral there was a huge question of wether it should be re-dated, or if it should just go on without the queen, tony blair, the arch bishop of canterbury etc, and inthe end they have moved it 24 hours. if they hadnt moved it, it would have been the biggest most disrespectful thing, but now they have moved it people are stil complaining, that the other weddings on that day have had to be moved around abit. sometimes guys, there is no pleasing at all. I dont know why i included that whole last paragraph, i think i just wuld show you how stupid the media in my land is.

I have had an ausome last 27 hours. Church last night was great, and i worked out that because i go to church at night, i am actually going to church at the same time as you lot! After church i went to the pub with everyone and it was just a really nice relaxed time. In england like 90% of people move away when they are 18/19 and go to universities far far away but at easter and christmas and the summer they all come home, and there is hauds of the church youth back and its nice. i spent the day with a friend, who tidied and cleaned my room for me, while i watched tv and moaned!

My good friend hannah is going to california for 5 moths tomorrow. doing the same kinda thing i did, so we had a party for her tonight and again its just nice to chill with my friends, and generally i just have a really good week coming up. Its just the ends of the great winter depression over here, and sp we are all planning way exciting things to do so yay!

I found out today why i have been rejected from a load of uni's today. I rang the place and they said that they only recived my application on the 27th of january. The cut off date is 15th of december, and my teacher had it by the 11th of november but obviously didnt referee and post it soon enough thus leaving me with a wait till the end of AUGUST! no joke, they dont have to give me a final decision till august. i tell you i am coming back england sucks. My mother went mental, shes been waiting for a reason to really freak out at my old school for years, and here it is......you may see her on the news!

ok for now i must leave. I have a couple of prayer requests: I need a job BADLY! that is all

have a good day thanx for being amazing

Thursday, March 31, 2005

an ode to my beautiful americans

i miss you la la la
i miss you la la la
i miss you la la la
i miss you la la la

wow did you like it? emotional or what?!

OK SO HOW IS LIZZIE? the one thing i dread all these english people asking me is this: oh hi lizzie - Are you glad to be back? You see the ereason i hate this question is that the answer is mostly no. seeing my family is great but in reality, my parents have been away ll week, my brother goes to work all day, and my sister and broIL live in another village and work so i dont really see any one. seeing my friends is great but you know i am impatient, and i cant wait to come home.........oh my word i just typed that without thinkning - WOWOWOWOWOWOW! home? Arizona? GOSH I FREAK MYSELF OUT.

ok so at the same time as all that i hate myself this week coz i am sitting in my house, all alone and jetlagged and a bit crazybut hoestly you should have heard how much i complain, oh well i dont know where to study bla bla bla, or oh my i dont feel right here and i just dont feel like i have one place to feel setteled, and oh when i am here i miss my american friends but when i am in america i miss my england friends, an oh oh oh i dont kno what my future holds bla bla bla. Honestly i would hate to know me sometimes. so how selfish is that? i hoestly was so mad. i have a future, i have too many friends, i have too many places where i feel at home, serisouly i need to sometimes get a slap, relise how lucky i am and get over myslef.

ok guys, i am babysitting tomorrow from 6 am, so im staying over at the house. Its actually th missionary people that linked me to you guys i love these people and this family soooooo much i would totally do this for free.

ok i am off. please look after my dina, makesure she drinks water and be nice ok?

I love you all

Monday, March 28, 2005

Being Home, Football Shirts and Crying a Noah Scale Flood

wow.....my two month adventure has come to an end. What can i say - I feel like i have been dropped out of a very high up plane, with no protective outfit, no warning and certainly no parachute.....crap then.

osme how i rolled on up to 17 Southcote Way (where i live if you wanna know) and seeing my family is ausome and seeing my friends is lovely, seeing the rolling green hills and big ole english trees is well good, feeling cold was even nice for a second, now i am ready to come back to arizona, to you.

i was gonna do a whole list of thank you's but i am not going to, mainly coz its 2 am and i have had a ridiculos lack of sleep in the last week and also coz i will be back, really soon.

i will say tho, my last few days in arizona were amazing. I spent alot of time at home with mandy and wee jennah and annah, which i totally loved even if mandy went a bit weird on me. I played golf with Gabe, well i drove the car thing sometimes - when he wasnt trying to kill me GRRRRRR (he turned out to be well good - and he got TWO yes TWO things which i dont remember the name of but its really good) I lay on my living room floor with hannah and dina, this has been one of my favourite pastimes and that was my sunday night activity thanx ladies, taking andre on a cold night time strol followed by english tea and mind filling chat was tuesday, and lying on my back in my living room with courtney and michie was monday, and of course a molto benne party on wednesday topped off everything, cela and dina you are amazing to me - THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

you all know by now football is more than a passion of mine it is a scary obsession, and on thursday jus before we left for the airport gabe brought round his corinthians shirt for me and signed it and everytihng, i cried that is the nicest thing ever seriously. then the weirdest thing ever when i got home on friday my friend sam (nice lad) came to pick me up and took me to a party (bad idea after a 12 1/2 hour flight by the way) any way he had bought me the international italy shirt with Nesta 4 Lizzie on the back, my boys internationally are amazing to me and i love you all

well what else is thereto say but night night, oh and yes ever heard the expression cry me a river? well no no no i went about 19999999 steps farther. i havent stopped crying for at least 5 days now, i think a noah type issue is comming WOW.

DONT FORGET ME GUYS!!!!!!!! oh yeah i tried to put some pictures of my family and friends for you to see my "over here" life, but i dont know if it worked, any way i love you guys
my sister and my brother in law getting all married
me and my fittie god daughter bex in italy ON A TRAIN YAY!!!!!
This is me and my big brother thomas last year in italy

Friday, March 04, 2005

Proving the bimbo wrong

A little while ago i was talking to friend in england. she is what is commonly known as a bimbo (a generally pathetic, gullable, and annoying type of person) and she was saying to me (in a high pitched voice) lizzie you know i think there would be more christians if like miracles kept happening and like there were more godish things going on. this is a fair point and quite a respectable one for a non-christian bimbo, but the truth of the matter is that miracles, and godish things are still going on - everysingle day, i think its just a case of looking at life thru a god tinted lense - do ya get me?

On wednesday night at youth we were looking at esther. ok so everyone always goes on about how its the only book in the bible that dosent mention god, and serious when i first head that i couldnt believe it. i read it about 3 months ago and i LOVED it and could so see how god used the poeple in the story, even tho it was never stated that it was god helping out thats just what i saw thru my god tinted lense. so when summink happens and its so easy to dismiss it as a coinsidence - DONT DO IT! look thru your god tinted lense and will start to see god in places where you wouldnt expect to.....i did yesterday i cant go into all the details; but sinse i got here i have been kinda preocupied, with alterior motifs and after talking to my mum i relised that it just wasnt helping me and my time here, i really asked god to help me kick it off and he has - GOOD ONE GOD!

also i think me and dina are twins - i cant tell you why i think that coz she will whack me up and thats not the best thing ever so i think i will just leave

Monday, February 28, 2005

oh dear

This weekend has probably been the best of while i have been here i have LOVED it! friday was my birhtday (see previous post) and had a great day, then on saturday i went with dina and cela to watch andre and gabe play football (only gabe didnt go - trator) so that was beautiful. then afetr we went back to the murillo household as is the norm, andre took a shower, gabe got re-dressed and we headed out with them saying they would take me home after they picked up summink from a friends house. so off we went. on re-thinking this is a pretty weird set up, why would gabe and cela come with andre to drop off me and dina???

any way so we were on the road, and went into an estate i have never been on and gabriel was like, mmmmm these are really nice houses around here do you wanna come and see inside one when we get there? and i was like well i dont wanna be rude, and i asked if they have a dog and they were like yeah they have three crazy dogs - wow. so i was like kinda hanging back we knocked on the door and there was like no one around, eventualy this woman came to the door half naked and said she was in the bath and what do we want bla bla bla, so we went next door, i thought it was a bit weird they didnt know where their friends live but i was in a kinda painful daze (from my stomache) and also fear of coming face to face with three crazy dogs, any way we went in to this house which was like totally dark i was the last in so didnt really relise and suddenly like a million people screamed SURPRISE!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS I SCREAMED! serious - nothing has ever made me jump more - i was amazed and i nearly cried....my party was amazing, courtney has a beautiful house and all the people here are amazing serious like propa great!

ok so in saturday morning, i went to a brithday party for a little tiny girl from our church, i had a go on the thingy mandy made which i am not even gonna attempt to spel. it was great man

sunday i went to church which was fit, and then i went went with courtney and missy and shelmi (new name) to a fashion show in phoenix, for prom dresess, it was very funny, the commentator was like 90 and he couldnt read the writting on the cards hahahaha! so any way the show was like half an hour late starting and all the time i was like oh my goodness my chair is so freaking uncomfortable and they were all like, shut up man we all have the same chairs. so like the show started and was good enough but i was kinda half asleep, then right in the middle of it my chair collapsed like 100% totally desicrated, serious like one second i was happy sitting and the next i was on the floor. all i can say is this, about three people were sitting behind us, and the rest of the world was sitting opposite us with the run-way in the middle. i was wearing a skirt and well......when i landed my legs were in the air needless to say the other people saw a little more than they bargained for hahahahahaha, i nearly wet my self i was laughing so much and it took most of the day for me to get back to a normal colour and be able to stop crying.......

This morning i am kinda sad. my friend amy was supposed to be coming to stay this week from london, we had everything planned out for a well good week for her then she collapsed at the airport and wasnt allowed to fly. i am devastated. she is fine.

i love everyone xxxxxxxxxx

Saturday, February 26, 2005

so its my birthday.......YAY!

ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!!!!!!! well not any more, i am here at 2:15 am talking to my girls dina and hannah over a glass of milk and some oreo's, its beautfiul i love girly chats! today has been a fantastic day really it was great! I was at home this morning and got phone calls from my dad, brothers and sister, my poor mumma was away on busness all alone - sniffffffffff!

courtney picked me up and we went to the gym, well we did like 5 minutes cardio and one stint on the weights then went to the jacuzzi, steamroom, and sauna! it was amazing fun, we then went and sampled some sushi ( i like) and came back home to the college group and a fit cake which was thrust into my poor little unexpecting face, poor me, but i loved it.. ok i am too tired to write coeujbvwyicvhx l../........

Wednesday, February 23, 2005


Tonight i hurt.......a lot

but i am praising god coz this like only the 2nd time sinse i have been here. i could have it everyday for the rest of the time i am here and i would still praise god coz trhu the hard bit he carried my illness and made me fine.

time for bed - at 8:15 - wow am i hard core or what?!

oooooooowwwwwwwwwwww IT FREAKING HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Hard Time & Coming Out Stronger

I have loved my time so far in America. It has been marred by only a few matters. The first and main being my blister situation. I had surgery today, operated by myself. Now that we can put all of the ugliness behind us and as I review the past hard week, I feel that I have come out of these struggles a stronger woman.

I had a nice time tonight with Dina, Susie & Jordan and the people that I live with. I cooked food from my native lands. And I nearly set the oven on fire. It was a good time had by all. Jamie Cullum...fit then. (I have no clue what that means...this is Dina by the way, and I'm typing this for her)


Lizzie Wizzie

Monday, February 21, 2005

Walking on water, fluff and Birth Day.....LIVE!

so Birth day - one of my favourite programmes in the world (its from an antinatal ward) and i come here and what do i find? over here its LIVE!!! i could have cried i was so excited! seriously man i just watched Triplets being pulled out, its so good coz you know i wanna be a midwife and whihle in england its all fuzzed out over here phew! the ol cameras get right in there! its GREAT!

i proctored an exam at church today, how freaking funny is that? spesh coz like Robert and Andre were taking it, i'm so young, and it was a little crazy! but ne way it meant that i had to sit in silence for like 2 hours, good time to catch up with god you might say? So yeah i took a book with me. I bought it in November, called if you want to walk on the water you have to get out of the boat. Its so amazingly relevant to my life right now and i was supposed to read it before i came here but now i see that if i had it wouldnt have meant as much, i am so desperatly searching for some answers at the moment and trying to figure out gods plan for my imediate future and yeah - its not a coinsidence that the third and my next chapter is called, discerning your call....aiiiiiiiiiiii!

when i came home i ate fluff - too much and i feel kinda sick, but its a kinda worthwhile sickness coz fluff tastes so good! Oh my goodness, its a big week in football this week! its the next round of the champions league, and my teams Manchester utd and Juventus have a couple of HUGE matches, my manchester boys are playing Milan on wednesday and Juve are playing real madrid on tomorrow, gosh and the freaking fox soccer channel are not showing either, how crap is that? - very i say!

well its my bed timexxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sunday, February 20, 2005

what a day.............

so i woke up from hannah speaking gently, followed by a yelling and licking Jennah....i love them! i had an odd time at church this morning. I felt really out of place for some reason, i really dont know why! its kinda getting to me that people dont understand everything i say first time....how stupid is that, well stupid i think! so anyway i was kinda wound up, there is alot of thoughts flying around my head, and its not a very large area so they are all kinda getting mixed up, and i am getting a little bit freaked out. such a nice woman was sitting next to me and when she saw me crying tears she prayed for me and it was beautful. i am still not at rest within me and its making me crazy!

After church i had a way good day, obie, jen and hannah took me to the building in phoenix obie is working on, anyway its like 17 or 18 floors high and i went right to the top and man - i nearly threw up it was so high!!but i loved it what a freaking veiw. then we went to the sugar bowl its like a 60's ice cream place it was so cool it was ALL pink (to you english readers - you would have cried)! then we went to ASU (arizona state uni) and jen showed me everything its so nice! then we went to wait for it ......HOOTERS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! hannah bought me a hooters tee shirt for my birhtday I LOVE IT!

Yesterday and today have been two of my favourite days while here, i went to the olive garden with courtey and her cousin and her friend for her birthday and it was so good, i loved it we had a lot of laughs. In the afternoon i took part in what is my favourite weekly pastime which is going into phoenix, to watch andre and gabe play indoor football. Those boys are scarily good - seriously watch out coz if they come to england they will shame a few of you guys haha!!!! but just watchin with cela and dina is so much fun, it was an ausome game, the wrong team won and the ref made some shocking decisons but andre got 2 goals and gabe got 1, AND we stopped by Eve's Tease on the way home - wow....i recomend hahahaha!!!!

love ya'll (i'm so american!)

Friday, February 18, 2005

Youri Djorkaeff and the stupidity of a man

hi everyone, i had college group tonight and i thought it was wise and i enjoyed it alot. God showed me a few things to me which i need to deal with, but i dunno how, i just cant hear the lad at the mo, if anyone hears summink that mite have been lost on the way to me please tell me. I was a little bit worried tonight when we went to the IHOP and one of the lass' who works there noticed i have had my hair cut....wow i think i need to stop going so much!

English bashing was out in full force tonight, i may have been smiling on the outside but i was crying on the inside.....yeah thanx Nathan and Gabriel. named and shamed....all i can say is your bad and i could take you down so easily, and i DO have friends in england i wasnt making it up, i WAS prom queen when i was 16 and i DID win best dressed girl 2 years in a row 17 & 18.... any good english people our there that can testify to that???? PLEASE FRIENDS HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Its my birthday this day next week, maties i want phone calls from sunny london and remember a gucci bag is never gonna go down badly..........

So yeah while we are on the topic - Youri Djorkaeff nice enough lad just signed from blackburn to the new york metro stars, ahem yes that is correct, the nice people at the "Fox Soccer Channel" just said that he transfered direct from inter milan - lets not be silly now, he has played for three other clubs since then, i dont even like him that much (he is french?! - ONLY JOKING!!) and i know that, they also called him like Borg Djorkaeff its mental they are payed to have the down low on these topics.....not happy with this situe!

it has been a good day and i love everyone, serious yeah even you people who think i hate you....i dont, well not at the moment at least! the world is peachy again


What my mummy has taught me

have you ever met some people and just thought - WOW i love them? well i have i met MANY while i was in kenya, and i have loads of friends at home like that like its annoying coz it feels like i dont love them as much as they deserve coz they are so beautiful!?!? i'm such a weirdo! but now i am in ol america and i have met people here like that, they just have beautiful hearts and you can see that they are just plain amazing, and its like i wanna spend all the day with them, and just be the best friend to them ever - but it kinda feels like there is a barrier between us coz i am going home in a few weeks - AGH! its not even a problem, its just what i was thinking about just while i was talking to my good friend sam in england!

so what has my mummy taught me? all the days i have been alive, live for the moment little lizzie. thanx mumma your wise.

ok so rite now i have a scary amount of things buzzing around in my head and if write them all down on here then i will have to take about 5 years to do it, so i will spare your lives and internet bills by saying ciao for now

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

I HATE animals

Mice and dogs - they are the only two things i ask to be abscent from my life and today hannah told me a disgusting story about a mouse getting stuck in a printer and its eyes were all bulging and it was SICK I nearly threw up - serious yeah it was horrible. So after the youth meeting I came home to find a dog in my house. I was nearly dead. It was propa crazy. What with the presence of animals and my six yes SIX blisters (LET US SAY NO MORE), life is somewhat hard. So hard that I cannot sit up and Hannah is having to type this for me (Hello everyone!!). I sang at church this day. It was out of tune, but I enjoyed it. Also, I am beginning to realize one reason why God has sent me here. It's to help develop and encourage some of the relationships within the youth. I can really sense gods sadness when i see some of the"unfriendships" (new word lizzie?!) which could be amazing but that are just not even attempted. I took alot from the meeting tonight, again it was about god love story between him and us. Other news - I ate 5 meals today (which would be considered snacks for normal people - from Hannah) and feel like a way big heffer - Andre, you should be proud.

I had a beautful time last night with "my bitch" Dina and later on Hannah and Mandy got in on the action it was so fun. The good ol' hob-nob and fluff combination worked magic once again and it created lots of happy smiles! I learned a lot from my chat with fittie Dina and honestly thank god so much for introducing me to her, shes FIT!

Mummy, your comment made me cry. I can't wait for our date. PLEASE SEND CHOCOLATE WE ARE DYING OVER HERE!
Fiona, I'm so proud of you for not dying. I can't wait to lick your eye again. i miss you alot
JonO, you're such a film star and you make me proud.
Tash, you're such an encouragement to me. thank you so much. Hey american ppl tash is is canadian, and has lived in england but is going back to canada in sept so teach her whats HOT over here in north america!
Cela, I hope you like your biscuits and that you're sharing them with little Gabie.
I fancy everyone.

Loads of love, Lizzie Wizzie

P.S. Mumma ring me because I have a new and exciting scheme in my head. i wanna know what you think!
P.P.S. ta han for having this dictated to you - your such a good roommate,


Monday, February 14, 2005

I HAVE A GROWTH ON MY TOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HI GUYS THE SCAREST THING EVER HAPPENED TODAY!!!!!!!!!! I found a growth on my toe, i was so scared earlier that i nearly cried and when i showed hannah she laughed, and so did mandy and even ben. i feel hurt and abused and unloved. it turns out i have what is commonly known as a "blister" and its so gross. they think it will stay for two days (eugh!) and that i dont need to go to see Dr Murillo. i have had a not so good day today i felt kinda down, how have i managed 18 years of singleness on valentines day? its especially strange when you relise that i had two year long relationship with a guy. i spen an hour with my personal trainer earlier - i love him, such a nice guy! then i went shopping and then back to the gym good then.

i dont know why i am feeling the way i am just now, i tried to explain it the other day and so i wont try and do it again, its not homesickness, its not anything i can even say AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH its making me crazy! i think its coz i fancy someone and its just i know its not gonna happen, but its like i freaking want it to so bad!! and andre keeps telling me lizzie dont have expectations but i cant help it!! so yeah....also becasue of it my eating and gym habits are maybe a bit on the unhealthy side of life but you know - why not live dangerously?! ok i know that was a very stupid comment to make but i dont have the energy to press the delete button sorry if it offends anyone, i am not serious, but i think most of you know food isnt normaly an issue for me but when it is its a HUGE ONE!!!!!!!!

so here is a couple of prayer requests for a few things that are getting me down;

1. my general health. My chron's has been so good while i have been here (thanx God) but its also coz i am overdosing like everyday which is making me feel bad too and the fact i am haveing about 1/2 a meal a day isnt great - so yeah use your imagination on that one?!

2. That i would feel like i am enough. Adiquate to be here, worthy to be Gods servant, Just enough to be ok.

3. That i would have the energy i need to be alive, to live my life, be lizzie and be able to go to the gym.

4. That my poor toe would be ok and that it dosent have to be amputated.

Ok thats all from me sorry about it all the next time you see me give me a slap and tell me to get over myself ok?! have a great day xxxxxxxxx

Sunday, February 13, 2005

what an annoying song

for all the time i have been here in the good ol' us of aiii i have had that damn song "come as you are" in my head. I am really not a fan of that song mainly as it comes from the mouth of some one who is totally not what they are. (well maybe not i dont even know who sings it) Any way so this song all i know of it is: come as you are la la la and i have really felt god challenging me to come as i am, not just before him, but before all these new fitties i am meeting here in america. but what if when you look at yourself, i mean like your real self, and it all just looks a bit crap? thats how i feel. Its like coming to america i have a total new slate. no one here knew me, what i have been or what i am now, it was like wow and what a huge oppertnity to start all good with god. its not really working out like that tho coz i am with these people and they are beautiful and they see me "Lizzie" my day to day persona it may be happy or quiet what ever but inside things are different.
while we were at the cabin i sed about how one of the hardest things for me is to be real with people i find it easy to hide under a false exterior of happyness. I am honestly sooooooooo happy here and i am just 100% that being here is so right but why then do i have a hurting inside me? Its like there should be something more and i dont know what it is, and certainly i dont know how to get it. at the same time all my homies reading this will know what i mean my freaking feelings are getting in the way of everything. They are irrelivent coz in 2 months this whole adventure will be over. Crap.

It may not seem like it but i am in such a good mood. i went with cela and dina to watch gabe and andre play football. I actually cried, these boys can really play, andre had some amazing footwork he got an assist and a well good stop, and gabe just got the 4 goals. i felt free when i was watching them. i seem to be rolling in andres car alot recently and i am gaining so mcuh knowledge from our little chats hes amazing to me.

do you know who else i love alot? ben and mandy. they are plain amazing i could have been a psycho (easy tiger) and they still took me in to their home and they are just BEAUTIFUL. England i love and miss you so. you guys better all be at heathrow to meet me yeah?! I will need a HUGE hug and alot of kleenex aiiiiiiiiiiiii

sleep well, oh and sorry for the lack of commers and full stops and stuff in this and all my other posts i am tired - GET OVER IT!!!!!!

Saturday, February 12, 2005

OH LA LA!!!!

I AM BACK! my brazilian italian flare is back in my life, i slept for 11 1/2 hours last night and feel fully refreshed. I'M READY FOR LIFE BABY!!!!! college and career was great last night, had quite a chuckle and have been so blessed by my home friends all geting blogs so they can talk to me more, guys its raining in arizona and its making me feel at home, and the world is a beautiful place once again!

In the last week god has brought to my attention something in my life which i thought i had delt with, but it turns out those feelings are still hanging around which isnt the best thing in the world. i have people holding me accountable for it so you know i think we will be allllllll good.

ok i am off now for a day of doing nothing at all untill 9 tonite when i am going with gabe and andre to watch some football WHOO! have a fit day everyone! fiona i love you baby xxxxx

Thursday, February 10, 2005

I need a hug

have you ever had the feeling like nothing else in the entire world is good enough, and all you need is a hug, but not just any old hug, it has to be real. that is how i felt today, and i dont even know why i felt like this. I felt propa home sick at the drop in, things were just a little bit odd i guess...... at the same time tho the drop in is such a belssing to me the kids are so cool and they all try and be hard but they are really sweet its so funny.

I had my hair cut off today also. it was a shock to my system, and i am a bit sad about it. Also today and in the last few days i have been kinda hurt by a couple of people.... man i am such a female! i am gonna go bed now and the go to the gym tomorrow for like 6 hours, its a good place to let out annoyance and chat to my maker, then by 5 tomorrow i will be all good again.

Monday, February 07, 2005

shopping and the gym

nothing spiritual happened to me this day.......but i was alive and thats good enough for me. gods is good and the world is a beautiful place i have no expectations hindering my veiw on gods destiny for me (thanx andre) and i am coming to terms with what god may or may not want me to do in the future and am still learning to put EVERYTHING into god capable hands.

i had a dream last night that i had to go home to london and i woke up and i was crying! im alread getting scared about leaving!


So today has been one of the strangest days of my life. i woke up to hannahs sweet tones "lizzie fittie"..... oh its so nice! I have had two encounters today of god speaking directly to me through other people. how amazing is that?! so amazing i would say. so the first was at church this morning and it was all about spiritual warfare and the one bit that stood out for miles was this: satan is gonna be putting thoughts of how you cant do things, and reluctancy into your head, that in its self is not too bad - but it starts to be crazy when we believe it.......at the end of the day we are the only ones who can choose not to do the things god wants us to do. i dont think i am putting this very well but its way late, its like this; before i came here like the day i left england - i would have given anything in the entire world to stay in england. I had feelings of doubt in myself and in god , all those feelings were from satan, i knew it at the time (but didnt wanna admit it) and i know it now. Satan is gonna give you emotional hassle and for me being a highly emotional lass thats not the best news ever but you know?!

ok so the second bit tied in exactly it came from the mouth of andre; dont have expectations - ok so i really wont be able to explain this one! but when he sed those word to me - everything made sense in my situation. there is a song we sing in england and its called hes got the wohole world in his hands (no not the weirdo old one) but that is amazing god does and always have the entire world in his hands and you know even tho he has all that to handle, he knows each of us personally......gosh - thats nice eh kinda whati got form obie the other day too. i have learnt today to put situations that i want to have control of, into gods hands and that is a safe place for them to be.....i have learnt alot today - a very lot......thats not even mentioning my new found football (ok soccer) skills... ta andre - you are like a big brother to me

i hope everyone is soooooooo well........sorry for being confusing and maybe a bit weirdo but it all makes sense to me so handle it! ban said to me yesterday that he was waiting for me to turn weird - i think he may have seen that bloom inthe last 12 hours - maybe i will be deported?!

ok bye then xxxxxxxxxxx

Saturday, February 05, 2005

so today i dont feel very well. andre and gabe picked me up and i was gonna watch them play football but the roads were crap and so we came home - where i was abused,and nearly cried. it has been a nice day this day and you know i am so happy to be here in america getting to know people here is way good......

spoke to a really good friend fiona on msn and she told me sum amazing stories about what is going on at home rite now - i am so happy for them. ok i am leaving rite now i hope everyone reading this is fine

ciao for now xxxxxxxx

Thursday, February 03, 2005

the drop in and a new attraction

what a day i have had, very hard i must say. i went to the gym, then for lunch, and then went for a manicure, needless to say its been tough. Later in the night it was the drop in there were some really funny kids who think they are well hard and tough but actually.......they arent.

the meeting last night was ausome, obie spoke beautiful words that landed straight into my being, i was excited. it was about the most amazing love story of all time between god and us - his widdy childeren. good ol' obie it was a stunner. tell you what elseis a stunner? - ok no i wont but totally hav fallen for some one.

ciao for now

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

my testimony

I have always been a Christian, I grew up in a loving Christian home and have always known God to be my friend. When I was 12 years old I made a conscious decision to step out from my parents faith and discover wheat my faith meant to me, and a couple of months later I fully committed myself to god.

Being a teenager and trying to be a fully-fledged Christian is hard. Apparently too hard and my life became wild. When I was 14 I heard more clearly from god than I had ever done before and have done since. I was alone in my bedroom and I asked god a simple yes no question, I fully understood what he didn’t want me to do and I was amazed at this encounter so directly from my heavenly father. However I then proceeded to do the exact same thing he had so obviously told me not too. I was in a very destructive relationship; I was being destructive against myself and worst of all I was going directly against god. I was in the exact same relationship god had expressly told me not to be in and all my other failures at that time were steming from this, so for two years I continued to wander further and further away from god and things got progressively worse and hard.

Only when i was 16 and talking to a good friend I began to understand the extent of what I had become and how far I had strayed away from god. She had a picture of me with high walls built up all around, they were so high and thick no one could get in and I couldn’t get out. With a lot of tears and ministry I literally felt these walls being totally knocked down and for the first time in two years I felt totally free and safe with God by my side.

My testimony is living proof that God uses hard times to make us stronger. My dad is a preacher and just after I had come back to god he was doing a powerful series on spiritual warfare. It was this, we believe, that prompted a series of crazy events in my family. Just after the first SW meeting in march, my dad fell down our stairs and broke his leg, next while in holiday in Spain in august my mum, fell down and broke her shoulder and the top of her arm. Then at Christmas my dad had a heart attack, and in March my mum broke her knee and leg.

This was not a normal year, as a family none of us had ever broken a bone or even been in hospital for more than a couple of hours, we felt very exposed but god continued to shine through into our family. When my mum broke her knee and leg she went to the hospital and they told her she would have 6 months in plaster, as it was a very bad break. My mother is a feisty lass and argued with the doctor for two hours about how she needed her mobility for her job. Finally at 4am the doctor gave in and said that he would just heavily bandage it, but she would have to go back in a week to have the plaster put on then. We prayed, and a week later she went back and had an x-ray and she was completely healed, the doctor was speechless.

Following his heart attack the doctors put a camera in to my dads heart, and they found a third artery which shouldn’t have been there and which had saved his life. After 6 months on the good ol’ English waiting lists and almost total immobility in a wheel chair, he had an operation to widen his arteries, and 3 days later went for a 2 mile run. They are just a couple of examples of how god carried us, as a family, through this hard time. For me however the biggest help was the two years I had spent previously, with out that time in the wilderness I wouldn’t have made it through. It taught me so much.
Though I am not a missionary, I have learned a lot from missions as well. I spent three weeks working with some of the most deprived and disease ridden people in Kenya. These amazing people brought me to my knees I learned so much from them and the experiences I had there I will never forget. These people have so little and they give so much. I sat in houses smaller then my bedroom, with widows dying of aids, most of the time they take care of their own children and their dead neighbors children too, and when I asked them what they want me to pray for, nine times out of ten they would say – oh just give thanks to God for he is so good to me. I gained more knowledge in those three weeks than in the rest of my life put together. Now I am a 19 year old girl coming to America on my own. It is a huge test of my faith and character, but have the knowledge that I can do anything coz I have God on my side.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

root beer is mingin

So today held some new things; i tried root beer. let there be no more said. there was however a new experience which was alot more pleasent, i tried my first bit of american pizza. i am going to gain more than 2 stones while i am here.